High Notes


Music can change the world because it can change people - Bono

Pitter patter, pitter patter

Dropping like rain

Sun peeking between weightless clouds

Shining through a drop upon a leaf

Imagining I’m in a place that’s so beautiful my eyes can’t stand to see

Brilliant, vibrant colours rushing at me

Streaming through my eyes

I pretend I’m not alone in this empty grey room

Where greedy faces peer through the door with clipboards

And they laugh at me

Write down all my mistakes and what life could have been

I pretend that I’m you in a life so normal and mundane

So simply happy

No anguish everyday

I pretend that I have enough and am not always in desperate need

It’s just too much for me to exist this week

I see a stretching rainbow and a waterfall so thin

So it’s weak enough to stand under it

Without getting swept away

But still strong enough to sweep over your hair and cascade down your face

I pretend I’m there and not alone in this empty place

The walls are so thin I can hear the screams and cries

Scraped so raw and stretched so thin

In here we wait to die

And there is no where to hide from the eyes that pry

I struggle to compose my facial gestures

Not let anxiety transform my gentle faceInto a hideous grimace

As I try and hold down these 90ft walls of sheer pain

I watch them congratulate one another on each accomplishment

I’ve been frozen here so longI can now only twitch

I hit my face off the grey walls of my mindI am trapped in here

I try to give people directions to find me

But they get lost just past the gate

I let them in further and trust them

Alas they pierce me in a new place

Riddled with holes and unkempt

I remember how happy I was as a carefree kid

I try to recapture a sense of freewill

A moment so divine

When I wasn’t chained in here

Memories didn’t leave me frozen in time

A delicate little girl searching through a Christmas wish book

Circling things and hoping they’d arrive

New things to hold in my arms and call mine

I hold my head in my handsI bite on my lip so the pain I can withstand

Why do I hurt so much I do not know

Why am I locked in hereHow do I ever open the door

My insides feel so twisted by pain

Sit with me awhile and let’s play a game

Its called escape and I must do it eventually

Break out of this prison I’ve created just for me

I hear myself screaming in the other room

He is beating me again

Fists that rage has consumed

A little girl is crying

Her daddy doesn’t care

He terrifies her with his anger

She always feels so scared

None of this is an excuse to be locked away

But I am guarded now and always kept safe

No one can touch me now that wolves guard the gates

But they will rip me to shreds too

So I imagine a place

A little boat on which I float away

The cool air brushes over my faceI closes my eyes, rocking in my little boat over caressing waves

Opening my eyes to the nights sky

Marveling how the stars surround every inch of space

But I always awaken alone in this roomIn this empty place

Trying to reach out and touch others

But I always hide away

Because people can’t really see me

Just an empty face

A sharp grimace of pain

Deep brown eyes that float on my face

Tears fill them if I feel

So I’ve put up such a blockade

A child lost in a dreamy facade

Reality can break

Gravity slips and time shifts

Alice walking through Wonderland’s maze

Disassociated and disassembled

My fingers tremble tugging on these restraints

I open my eyes and rip them away

Run with me now past the judgmental stares of people who never had a clue

Outrun the wolves at the gates

We can do it me and you

Let’s break through the fear and isolation

Show them how it feels in our prisons we create

Let’s knock down the walls of stigma smothering us

Let’s truly escape

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